Garbage Crisis in Funky

Hi Chris,

Lunch crowd just arriving but I absolutely had to pass this along, taken from this morning's paper. Got to admit I'd forgotten how "scenic" the Inlet gets when the tide turns and brings the day's dumpings right back onshore.

Love,
Z
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Funk’s Inlet Gazette
Garbage Crisis in Funk’s Inlet

The Funk’s Inlet Village Council was thrown into an uproar this morning when Mayor Peter Pecksniff resigned after revealing the contents of a letter recently received from the Provincial Minister of the Environment, Tolly B. Griddle.

The Provincial government’s new "Coastal Waters Protection Act" states that:
"No Coastal British Columbia community may, from the 30th of this month, dump its refuse at sea. Due to the declining health of fish stocks all Coastal communities must provide daily garbage pickup and must establish and maintain a recycling centre and a landfill. Failure to do so within the alloted time frame will result in a fine of not less than $10,000 per day per unestablished dumpsite. Mayors of such communities as do not comply will be held personally, financially and morally responsible for all documented deaths at sea of herring, salmon, blue-eyed marlin, smelt, hairy-finned gopher strainers and Japanese trawler crews."

Funk’s Inlet residents have always dumped their garbage in the Inlet without provincial interference, so this directive came as a complete surprise until this paper’s owner/editor remembered that the Honorable Minister's wife recently received 10,000 shares of ‘Sharit and Glover Garbage Trucks of Canada Inc.’ as a birthday gift.

The Council declined Mayor Pecksniff’s resignation, and voted to look for a used garbage truck. A budget of $800 has been set aside for this purchase. Council also voted to set aside as the site for the new garbage dump a hectare of village property directly across from Amalgamated Shoe and Amusements, since the smell of the refuse will improve the air quality by partially negating the smell of the tannery (not to mention the odour of the amusements).